As 2019 is getting close, and as 2018 has been an intense year of growth, I wanted to share all the things I’ve taken from this year. I’m now getting used to sharing personal thoughts here and I believe it’s all part of the growth process to be able to acknowledge changes, struggles and lessons learnt. So here’s what I’m taking to 2019.
PUT YOURSELF FIRST
2018 has been an emotionally triggering year. It is fair to say that I’ve had my share of tough times. I think it has helped me a lot to put words on what I was experiencing or feeling. These difficult times I used to have falling asleep and wondering about all stuff, I now acknowledge what’s stressful because I listen to myself even more than before. I’ve come to realize that my feelings matter more than anyone else’s. I don’t try to please people anymore if it doesn’t make me happy. I’m not being selfish, I just understand that I can’t give the best of me to people I spend time with, if I am not whole and happy with myself.
I used to think people cared about what I was wearing, what I was doing, what I thought or believed in. But I think moving to London has helped me realized that people literally do not care about others. Everybody is just here minding their own business and doing their best. If you do the same, everything will be fine. I used to be very self conscious especially at the gym. I thought people always kept an eye on what others were doing, but everyone is just doing their stuff! And it’s the same for everything in life! People do not care if you make a mistake or if you wear pajamas in the street. Do you, don’t care about what others think and you’ll be just fine!
To be really honest, I spent a lot of time in 2018 trying to meet someone. I wanted to share my time, my thoughts and somehow I think I needed someone who needed me. I decided to stop looking for that someone special and putting more effort into loving myself. It has been tough, to spend more time alone, to learn how to truly love myself. But it is so worth it. There’s no end to this road so I’m still working on it but I feel so much better with myself now. Loving yourself is the most important thing you can do to be happy. And truth be told, I believe we meet that special someone only when we love ourselves so much that we do not need someone else to do it for us. This is the most important of all lessons.
DON’T FEEL BAD FOR SAYING NO
2018 has been the year of JOMO (Joy Of Missing Out) for me. I’ve enjoyed so much spending time alone and saying no when I didn’t feel like going out. I’ve given a lot of energy to friends of family members who needed me but sometimes, I had to say no when it came to giving too much time or energy. It has to do with putting myself first and understanding that I can’t give to others if I’m not full. It is ok to say no and to prefer spending some time alone rather than socializing. There is no reason to feel guilty. Whatever makes you happy is good and don’t feel the pressure to justify not wanting to do something.
YOU DON’T HAVE TO PICK YOUR FIGHTS
This year, many topics have been very important to me and I’ve been burning inside for so many things. At some point, I thought I had to choose where to put my energy first, which fight to out first. But they’re all so important to me that I decided to give them all the same energy. I have so much passion and energy for what drives my hopes and dreams that there is no reason to choose. I will keep on being passionate about fight against animal exploitation, for feminism, for the end of discrimination, for the environment and many more. And the most important is that I will not apologize for what I believe in, nor will I try to be soft when sharing my thoughts and beliefs.
IT’S OK TO NOT BE OK
I used to try to be happy or at least show and pretend that I was happy even when I was feeling low. This year, I’ve been practicing more mental health care and it’s been very helpful. I now understand how important it is to take care of our mental health as much as our physical health. I do not try to be fine all the time, I take time off for my mental health and when a friend asks me if I’m ok, I do not hide and I am honest. My lows are less frequent now that I accept them. I feel much better and happier now that I don’t try to feel good all the time.
Happy 2019 ◊